DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
