She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
