I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
