Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize