i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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