I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
