drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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