then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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