By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
