I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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