did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
