I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize