Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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