Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize