So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
