I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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