needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
