My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
