so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
