Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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