you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
