I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
