dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
