he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
