Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize