Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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