we made out on top of his cat.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
