I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize