the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
