What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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