In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize