Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
