like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
