Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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