I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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