My first STD was from a foam party
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize