we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
