i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
