Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
