there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
