areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
