Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
