i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
