i just had sex bonerless
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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