Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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