he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
