the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
