if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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