remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
