his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
