im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
