I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
