you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
