i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
