I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
