So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
