Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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