Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize