other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
