weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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