i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
