I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
