So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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