Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
