i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
