I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
