it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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