I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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