omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
