State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
