hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
