It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
