I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
